April Love - Day One - Dear Love

Dear Love

There's a quote that comes to mind when I think of you by the late Maya Angelou - Love doesn't hurt.

I have experienced what I thought was indeed love yet I never felt good. I mistook the pain for something else. I internalised the hurt and thought if I just did more, gave more, tried harder, loved YOU more then somehow the pain would stop. Of course, that's not how you work. Love doesn't hurt. Love feels good but what did I know about good feelings? What was I supposed to do with them? When good things came my way, I would inevitably look over my shoulder to check for the bad, hiding somewhere - ready to pounce.

But then I managed to find you love, in the sweetest and smallest of moments. In the giggles of my niece, the wagging of my dog's tail, holding hands, teaching others to tell their story and seeing them see themselves almost for the first time, in an Autumn sunset and the waves of the beach - there you are, Love - giving and filling me up with no effort on your or my part.

Coming to the conclusion that I deserve you as much as I give you to others is so simple and yet to finally believe that changes everything.

I deserve the kind of love that I give. No explanation needed.

 Thank you Love for carrying me when I thought I had nothing left to give.

2015 April PAD Challenge - Day Fifteen - Halfway there!

Today's prompt for Writer's Digest 2015 April Poem A Day Challenge is: An Adjective Titled Poem.

Lost

I know
That these words
Will never be enough

I know
That our country
Which you Bravely
Sought as solace

When you fled from
Trouble Back Home
Has In the Darkness
Raised It's Ugly Greedy Head
And Destroyed
The Life You've Built

Your neighbours
Have listened to the lies
Fed to them from up high

But they do not know
That we are all Africans
Whether from the South or North

I know these words
Will never be enough
As your children cry
And you wonder where to go

But if they come at you
With petrol and knives

Fight your way out
Fight your way back
Back to the Rainbow nation
We all fought so hard for

And I will be there
With open arms
Waiting

2015 April PAD Challenge - Day Four

This is today's poem for the April 2015 Poem A Day Challenge by Writer's Digest.
Today's prompt is Departure.

What Once Was by Amy Kaye

Lost and Broken
You Hypnotised Me
Like A Magnet
Your Sad Story
Pulled Me In
The Loss In Your Eyes
Reached Out
And Enveloped me in your Pain

It was like I was returning
To a familiar place of destruction
All the signs were there
Warning me of the Danger! Danger! Danger!
But I was hooked

Together We dove Deep
Into the grey pools of pain
Like a Blanket
You wrapped me in the comforts of loss

I Held On
Even though your words
Became sharp like shattered glass

You told me that Love wasn’t easy
And I stupidly wanted to believe
This heart break meant something

But the manipulation continued
As you whispered empty lies to me at night

With nothing to cling to
But a tiny voice that once was my beating heart
I left not knowing how I would go on
I left not knowing who I was

And as the last words were said
It was finally over

And slowly I will return to myself like an old friend