DigiWriMo - Day 4 - Be Brave!

If you had told me at the beginning of this year that I would be a published writer and that I would have been invited to take part in an exhibition as a poet, I would probably would have rolled my eyes at you. Me? Be a writer? Oh please. Even though I have been secretly writing for years, being a writer didn't even occur to me as a possibility. The voices in my head more often than not portray me as a victim. Who am I to think I am important enough to share my opinions with the world? If I compare myself to writers that I admire and respect, my work is never as good and I am left feeling intimidated and scared. 

Why am I scared of writing? Why am I scared to share myself with the world and the people I love? Fear. Fear of rejection, fear of judgement, fear of being unloved and unsupported. Putting words and how I feel out into the world leaves me at my most vulnerable. Even as I write these words, the voice in my head keeps telling me not to. It keeps telling me that I will embarrass myself and that if I send this to people, they won't get it and will think I'm arrogant and narcissistic. 

I am choosing instead to not let my fear and worry win. I am choosing to create a new possibility for myself. I am choosing life. All those negative thoughts have done nothing for me except keep me small and scared of doing anything with my life. The only way I will have an extraordinary life is to do things that are greater than I think I am and to continuously push myself way out of my comfort zone. 

So here I am, being vulnerable about to send this out into the big wide world. I don't know who will read this. I don't know if this will make any impact on anyone else other than myself. What I do know is that the only way I will be able to change my thinking and change my world is to change myself.

*This post is part of the DigiWriMo Project in association with Write On! South Africa - Today's Topic is: Be Brave

For Rosemary Theron - How I Will Remember You

Dear Rosie

Today I heard the news about what people have been speculating for months. You were murdered. I fear that this is how people will remember you. That the press and the public will dissect your last moments under the media’s magnifying glass. I don’t want to know the details. I don’t want to put in my insensitive two cents of speculation.  Too many people are remembered this way. They are remembered for their last moments instead of their lives.

So I’m writing this to you so I will remember you as you were in life – tiny in stature but full of fire. Our paths only crossed twice but in that short time, you made a massive impact. The first time we met, we did a gig together at an end of year function. The theme was Alice in Wonderland – I was The Queen of Hearts and you were the Mad Hatter. We met as we were putting on our make up before going to interact with the guests. We were surrounded by models and I was hoping there would be someone I could talk to. Someone that had beauty that was more than skin deep. We chatted a little bit about the gig. It was the end of the year and the festive season madness had already begun. You seemed angry and untrusting of me. We didn’t talk much again that day but while we were with the guests, you kept coming up to me and interacting with me as your character. You took your role seriously, stayed in character the whole time (as did I as you can see by the photo below) and I appreciated that.

                                         The Queen of Hearts glares at The Mad Hatter 

The next time I saw you would be the last. We were doing a Halloween Rocky Horror Show themed gig. I was playing the role of Columbia and had been asked to choreograph a Flash Mob Time Warp. You were part of the Flash Mob and were also doing Fire Dancing. It was a very chaotic day –too many people were trying to take charge and I was getting more and more frustrated trying to lead the group. I’m not the kind of person who usually shows my anger but the tolls of sleep deprivation overtook me and I stormed off to be on my own. I felt stupid and embarrassed that I couldn’t handle the group dynamic and irritated that I had put so much work in, only to be disrespected.  Suddenly out of nowhere, you ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I’ve never been one to show my affection easily through touch – I use words to show people I care. The fact that you didn’t even know me that well but still reached out to me with such compassion made me feel so much better. Everything changed after that, I went back to the group and got ready for the gig to start. The rest of the night we performed in different parts of the club. You did your fire dancing but slipped and fell on the gasoline in front of the audience. I didn’t see the moment you fell, but you came up to me afterwards all embarrassed and I tried to take your mind off things. I then had to do my performance and we danced a little bit later in the evening after the flash mob.

Our paths crossed for just a moment in time but your kindness affected me deeply. I hope that your family and friends and anyone who crossed your path also had the privilege of seeing this side of you. I will remember you always. Thank you for leaving me with such a beautiful memory – you will be missed. 

*This piece was published in The Sunday Times, South Africa on October 6th 2013. 

Rain Rain Go Away! #Day4 #PromenadePoetry #CWCT2013

It's supposedly Spring in Cape Town but the Mother City seems to have her own ideas... 
Due to the rain and hail, I was unfortunately unable to write any #PromenadePoetry yesterday and it's not looking too good today either. As frustrating as this is, that was the whole intention behind this experiment. I used chalk on the promenade so that it would be non-permanent and that the elements would naturally wash it away. Whomever happens to be there on the day that I write my poetry, gets to read it. Whomever happens to cross my path dictates what I write about. This was both terrifying and liberating. 

Meet Penny & Rocco - Day 4's poetry recipients.What stood out for me about this couple was their love for each other and their love for life. Penny and Rocco have been living in Cape Town for over 40 years. Rocco is originally from Italy and still has his strong, wonderful Italian accent -every word he uttered sounded like poetry. We spoke about politics, the universe, Carl Sagan, the point of poetry and one's life purpose in just under a few minutes but I would have happily continued speaking to them for hours. 

Thanks go to the press for featuring me over the past few days and for those of you that have been sharing my poetry around the world. Here's hoping the weather improves so I can finish what I started on the Promenade! 

Baby It's Cold Outside! #Day3 #PromenadePoetry #CWCT2013

Yesterday's weather in Cape Town was miserable. I was sitting there trying not to freeze, thinking that trying to find someone to talk to and write for was going to be impossible. I had some unexpected company when a whole flock seagulls and pigeons came to investigate what I was doing. Not sure what they thought of my poetry... ;) 

The only people that were on the Promenade were the die hard athletes - the people that run/jog/walk no matter what the weather. None of them stopped to say hello as they went by but I noticed a few did manage to crack a smile. One lady even stopped to jog on the spot so she could read what I had written and then continued. I have great respect for people that show such commitment - seeing those people out there in the freezing cold, made me feel that I was doing the right thing and that I was in great company if only by association. 

Meet Salie, former resident of Diep River and now residing in Parow. Salie dreams of a drug and gangster free society. He says he lives for his children who make him happiest. He was married for 26 years and has been single for two which he says suits him fine. His greatest achievement was building a 6 wheeler limo which appeared in the newspaper and he hopes to build an even bigger limo in the future as he loves to work with his hands.  

Here's hoping for better weather the rest of the week! 

#Day2 - Creative Week Cape Town 2013 #PromenadePoetry #CWCT2013 

I started day two in the morning at 10am. It was a completely different vibe down at the Promenade. Maybe it was because it was Monday, maybe because it was the morning or maybe it was just because of the weather but everyone was a lot colder ( no pun intended). Not as many people were walking past and the few that did were a lot more shy and hesitant to interact with me. So I was left alone with my beautiful view of the ocean for the first hour while waiting for someone to write a poem for. 

While waiting, I decided to write a poem about waiting for the public. Sometimes just the act of writing, is what is needed to get momentum going...

PromenadePoetryBlues

It's Monday Morning and Day Two

And I feel like I've got the Promenade Poetry Blues...

For what is a poet without a muse?

The ocean breeze is cold against my skin

But that won't stop the Fire within

Come over here 

And speak to me

So I can write you poetry!

Almost the instant that I picked up the chalk to start writing, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and a woman put a handful of coins into my hands without saying anything. She held onto my hands and pure light radiated from her eyes. I asked her if she wanted me to write a poem for her and she said it wasn't necessary. I thanked her and said I would buy more chalk with the money ( I get through about 3 packs of chalk a day!) Her sweet smile was incredible and the warmth she radiated was almost tangible and just like that she was gone.

I don't always get a chance to photograph the people I speak to - sometimes the moment is so quick, it seems over as soon as it's begun. The street sweeper in the yellow jacket in the image above had broken English. He took a very long time reading my poetry. I don't know if he understood or not but I'm glad he came to say hello to me regardless.

Up next was a man who introduced himself as 'the man from the Yellow Pages'. In the short conversation that we had, we discussed family, music and anagrams. He said that he always tries to make people laugh and had some wonderful wordplay. He said that he will be returning to the Promenade later in the week with some music for me and I look forward to his return and to see what he'll bring. 

Meet Klaus - Day Two's Poetry Recipient

 Klaus known as The Mac Guy  is a German living and working in Cape Town. He fell in love with Cape Town and a South African in the 90s. His relationship didn't work out but his love affair with Cape Town did! He asked me to write a poem about graffiti. We had a short discussion about street art/graffiti and the public's perception of what it is. Check out some of his incredible photography on Instagram (@klauswarschkow) 

To see a short movie of me writing the full poem for Klaus, go to his Vimeo link:

http://vimeo.com/74650131

Someone asked me yesterday what writing poetry does for me. I explained that it's who I am. I feel most alive and in the present moment when I write. Thank you to all of you who have come to share a bit of your story with me so far. I look forward to meeting more of you in the rest of the week. If you would like to see what time I will be at the Promenade, check out the Creative Week Cape Town Event Listing:

http://www.creativeweekct.co.za/events/promenade-poetry/

Promenade Poetry - Creative Week Cape Town 2013 - Day 1

As part of Creative Week Cape Town 2013, I will be writing poetry about and for the public at the Sea Point Promenade in Cape Town. To find out more about the project, follow me on Twitter: @AmyKayeSA

#Day1 - #PromenadePoetry #CWCT2013

This afternoon, I went down to the Sea Point Promenade to realise a dream of sharing my poetry with the public. Even though I have read my poetry professionally before, this was something completely different. The idea behind the project is to write original poetry each day for whomever happens to pass by or for people that specifically want me to write poetry for them.  The thought of trying to write original poetry for complete strangers is both terrifying and exciting. Having done documentary film and radio making in the past, I love finding out what people's stories are but being an introvert, I feel quite shy approaching people. However, these creative projects are to help me release my fears, to step out of my comfort zone and in turn will make me more confident in my abilities as a writer and poet. I hope that people feel brave enough to come find me, to ask me about the poetry and of course ask me to write poetry for them.

Meet Megan and Ricky, the first two people to come and talk to me today. They are both originally from Johannesburg and are living in Cape Town. Megan asked me to write a poem about nature. They described themselves as a on again/off again couple. Having spoken to them for a few minutes, I began writing their poem. I focussed on using elements of nature in the poem and the theme of love. It came across as quite romantic even though I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a 'romantic' poet. As a poet, I am trying to encapsulate whomever I meet through my words in a matter of moments. It's almost like taking a snapshot of someone - the poem won't necessarily capture who they are but I hope that it serves to capture that moment in time.

 

I find people fascinating. Just seeing how different people interacted or blatantly ignored the poetry today was quite intense for me. When the first few people jogged, walked over and walked through the chalk, my heart sank. A range of emotions ran through me. Anxiety, sadness, anger, self pity. Was my poetry that bad that people literally walked all over it? I then waited a while and started to notice the patterns of people. Every single one of the children that were there today (including the little guy above), stopped to either come read the poetry, watch me write and for those who couldn't read yet just stood and looked at it. The adults? Not so much. What does this say about us as adults? Have we forgotten how to see the world as our playground? Do children recognise creativity and art more easily than us? 

One lady from Switzerland came running up to me and asked if I was the artist that you heard about on the Creative Week Cape Town event listing. 

She then read the poem and asked who 'Jozi' was as she thought it was the name of a woman. Jozi is actually the nickname South Africans give to the city of Johannesburg. 

Hearing people reading my poetry out loud, to their children, to themselves and to each other was something I've never had the privilege of experiencing before. To have my words come out of other people's mouths is a feeling that I think all artists or creatives long for. It's the ultimate expression of being heard.

I don't know what will happen to my poetry tonight. Tomorrow when I return, it may have been washed away by the ocean or rubbed away by the wind and jogger's feet. Leaving it there out in the open, in the elements leaves me feeling vulnerable and out of control. But letting go is all part of this creative experiment and I am excited to see how the poetry will progress over the week and how far down the promenade I manage to get (weather dependent).

Tomorrow morning I will be at The Promenade from 10am. If you're in the area, come and say hi. I will be posting the times I will be on the Promenade, later in the week so keep posted.